This Is How You Love Her
A fiercely candid, funny, and sometimes heartbreaking blend of memoir and self-help on vulnerability, identity, and reclaiming your life.
Traci is not a therapist or clinician. This book is her lived experience, offered as a companion to the work you do with clients, not a substitute for it.
“I didn’t find myself in one big revelation. I found myself in hundreds of little answers, one journal page at a time.”
Who it’s for
For anyone who’s ever lost themselves in work, relationships, or the image they built to survive.
What it explores
Perfection
Unlearning the belief that you’re not allowed to get it wrong
Body Autonomy
Reclaiming your body and learning to be present in your own skin
Boundaries
Setting limits with the people you love most, even when it means risking the relationship
Control
Releasing the need to manage everyone’s perception and trusting yourself to just be
About the book
This Is How You Love Her is a vulnerable narrative guide to uncovering your identity in life’s small moments, right where you are. Saulsberry weaves together pages from her journal, conversational guides, poetry, and reflection prompts in this memoir-meets-guide that gives readers permission to get to know themselves at their own pace.
7 days to rewrite the story you tell about yourself
Traci’s free seven-day journaling practice sends one short prompt a day by email. It’s an easy first step to share with a client, before the book or alongside it.
Get the Free JournalAbout Traci
For 14 years, Traci Saulsberry led communications at NBC, becoming one of the youngest Black executives at the company. When her carefully constructed life collapsed, she was confronted with a question she’d been avoiding for years: Who was she, really?
Traci also speaks to practices, groups and conferences. See her speaking page.
How to get it
- Hardcover: $28 · Abrams · ISBN 9781419780110. Get it from Abrams
- Audiobook: also available, read by Traci.
- Group orders: Order 25 or more copies through BulkBooks. Ordering 25+? Let me know and I’ll send signed bookplates for your group.
- Contact: Send a note through the inquiry form
Questions from therapists
Is it a workbook?
It’s a memoir-meets-guide: Traci’s story, with pages from her journal, conversational guides, poetry and reflection prompts woven through it.
Can clients use the reflection prompts on their own?
The prompts are written for readers to work through at their own pace. Whether the book is a fit for a particular client is your call.
Is there a guide for groups?
Yes. The free Book Club Guide has discussion questions, journal prompts and a host checklist.
Is there an audiobook?
Yes, read by Traci.